Wings and a Pray-er
The work week ended on a positive note. (Hallelujah!) Except for maybe two, people were nice all day, and at the end?
I saved a life.
Backpacking with Cosmic Charlie
The medical adventures continue. Today I have a ride to the hospital, so I have a moment or two to share a little more gross-out with you…
Abscession
The following post may be offensive to some readers. I’ll try to keep from getting too graphic, but you might want to hold off on the corn flakes until after.
The Dog Food Diet
Shamelessly stolen from Craigslist ‘Best of’…
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
“But Mo-o-om, everyone’s doin’ it!”
Hope sproings eternal!
While watching the morning Fox news, the health report claims that elderly people aren’t the boring sort we once thought. Seems just because there’s snow on the roof, doesn’t mean there isn’t fire in the furnace!
As a self-confessed dirty old man, I’m just a young ‘un!
I was worried there for a while. Some health issues in the mid ’90s (the decade, not my age span) left me, um, less than vigorous. Things still worked, but the springs were a little rusty and the hydraulics groaned a little. After losing a ton of weight and a couple bad habits (and acquiring a partner who knew how to bring out the best in me) I’m like a horny teenager again!
After an informal poll (wait while the girls roll their eyes at the pun) it turns out I’m doing better than most of my friends! I visited with Clairissa a couple of days ago, and a lot of her friends have fallen into ‘the rut’. (Meet Clairissa and get bald!) Day-to-day life and familiarity take a toll on the romance, it seems.
So, if you have a partner, slither up behind ‘em and cop a feel. Give your buddy a hug. Slip Grandma the tongue. (But only if you are Grandpa; common sense is advised…) Neck kisses are always welcome, and who doesn’t like an affectionate pat on the bottom from a significant other?
C’mon people, get busy!
We must defend our Beaver!
I just got back from our local Triple A baseball team’s website. There is talk of changing the Beaver’s nickname and logo. I must protest this vehemently! Get your grubby hands off our Beavers!
I left this comment, as well as a vote for the ORIGINAL nickname.
I am a native Portlander and believe the Beavers should be *our* ball team’s name. (Do you remember the Portland Phillies? No one else does either.) While the nickname elicits giggles from my cousin back east, (Hi Misty!) the Portland Maine minor league team is nicknamed the Portland Seagulls. (“We will poop on you”?)
That name doesn’t stink as much as the thought of you taking away the history of our beloved Beavers!
They claim it’s because they don’t want ‘confusion’ between them and the Oregon State college baseball team. (You may have heard of them too, they just won a College World Series or something.) Um, has this been a problem? Corvallis is a couple of hours from here, and given their recent success, I think I’d welcome that kind of mistaken identity.
I own ballcaps from both teams. (I confess, I’ve got a thing for beavers, ahem.) They are color-coded; red for Portland, dark brown for OSU. (See, we can figure it out!) I have never mistaken one team for the other, or gotten lost on the way to the game.
So please please please, boogie on over to the BEAVERS’ website and drop a positive for our team and city’s heritage. I’ll even save you time- you can vote *here*.
As they do in Chicago, vote early and often!
Then get on out to the ballpark and watch our Beavers get licked again…
You people have too much money…
…and that’s okay. Your spending keeps me clothed, sheltered and cyber-connected. By skipping an occasional lunch I can afford to take ThatGirl out once in a while. But people, dear people, how you spend your money sometimes makes me wonder…
Providence and grace
I’m tired tonight. Had to get up early and go to the doctor. Mostly a check-up, but some peace of mind as well. For the last couple of weeks, there’s been a lump near my spine.
Screwed, blued and tattooed
It’s nice to hear the pitter-patter of rain outside. I’ve lived in Oregon all my life, and the rain has been as present as oxygen. (Not as much as there used to be, but it’s still there!) The mooks on bicycles, smoking cigarettes as they cruise along looking into parked cars and yards, are nowhere to be seen. The air is sweeter. Read the rest of this entry »
“Dawg will hunt!”
I’m not the only one who feels the fall air a bit early. It’s been gray and cloudy, and the dog days of August have yet to come scratching at the door.
I blame it on growing up near Mt Hood. A difference of a thousand feet in elevation would account for it, right? From the late ’60s until about 1984, it seemed a sunny summer was the exception and not the norm. Rarely would one see sunshine before noon, and the skies wouldn’t be cloud-free until 2 or 3 PM. Upper 80s would be uncomfortably hot.
How the times have changed! I hear the bitching about how gloomy the weather is. (So long, global warming!) This has been a more typical summer, with overcast days and moderate nights. I hear lots of comparisons to October…
