The Ones You Least Suspect
It’s sometimes hard to keep a stiff upper lip in these dark days of winter. It seems the sun will never come back, and with the post-holiday letdown a lot of folks get depressed.
I Spanked Her Monkey
But not before the State of Oregon did it first.
Behold the Mighty Porkchop!
I’m not an early riser. I make exceptions, (road trips, sleepovers, etc…) but usually I don’t get up until around noon. Sundays? Fuggetaboutit. Now that football is nearly over, there’s little reason to rise early.
This also leaves me out of the loop. If something cool is happening, it’s usually over by the time I’ve had morning coffee. Going out to breakfast Sunday morning, while hardly unusual, happens when others are checking the lunch menu.
Grinder Jr.
As the old saying goes, when the cat is away, the mice will play.
Grinder is on vacation for two weeks. It’s much deserved. If left to our own devices, we would work four-hour days, get paid for eight, and leave an hour early. Work? That would be putting down the porno magazine long enough to ring someone up when they give you the stinkeye and say, “I’M READY NOW!”
In other words, we need supervision.
Contemplating Overtime
It’s Monday, but it feels like Tuesday.
My weekend was a good one. After a big grocery run and a walk for exercise, I settled in to watch the Blazers on their road trip.
In You End Oh!
Ah, to be in the company of women…
It got a bit lonely around here last weekend. I spent the majority of the time watching football, basketball, hockey and Metallica. A sure case of testosterone poisoning. And while it was of my own choosing, I did miss the company of the fairer sex. There’s only so much ‘guy stuff’ I can do, at least without whiskey.
It wasn’t about sex either. (I’m always on the prowl for that.) It’s just that I often spend my leisure time around women, whether it’s dining, going to the movies, or even the occasional sporting event. But since Mizelle’s schedule has changed, ThatGirl is terminally busy and there’s only so much hair I can let Clairissa remove, I had an ‘Oh lonesome me!’ weekend.
Overstimulated on a Sunday Morning
Is it good for an old man’s heart to get this worked up so early in the day?
Sure, I got up way too early. I popped a handful of pills (ibuprofen) and am sipping a cold drink. (Coke Zero. How benign is that?) Though drinking and pills sounds good on paper, all the overstimulation is coming from the TV.
Snow Ballin’
Don’t you just hate it when loyalties conflict?
I consider Seattle to be the default home team in sports other than basketball. (With a WHL exception: go Winterhawks!) I have had lots of fun in Seattle over the years, and since Portland isn’t *big* enough to have a MLB or NFL team, I will ship my fandom to the north in most circumstances.
Binge and Purge
Another post about my diet? Not even close. (Although I’ve been a good Big Bad Wolf; I’ve eaten Granny Smith for lunch twice this week.) The title is in reference to Metallica’s box set from the ’90s. Live Sh*t: Binge and Purge. I bought the box set used for $52 at Everyday Music, way back when. This was in the pre-DVD days, for me anyway, so I got the 3 VHS tape- 3 CD edition. It came in a cardboard replica of a sound equipment box, with concert programs, decals and a handy graffiti stencil.
I was whiplashing for joy when I saw the title available on Netflix. A DVD copy! I wouldn’t have to listen to the 23-minute intro to hear Enter Sandman! I could hop about the set list without driving myself mad running back and forth to the VHS player. I was ready to talk to my friend with the cool computer to see if a bootleg could be made. But first, to revisit. I set down with my new drink of choice (Coke Zero Cherry) and clicked on the DVD.
And what was my reward?It was not the concert, but a bunch of pretentious British cunts (sorry girls) talking about Metallica! W…T…F!!! I wanted to play Frisbee with the goddamn disc, but instead I dug deep into the pile of junk buried under the TV, found the box of VHS tapes, and now I am watching the San Diego performance.
Motivated? Me?
I’ve never been one for New Year’s Resolutions. Sure, I’ve planned ahead. It’s the only way I can quit some things. (Alcohol, white powders, cigarettes, girlfriends.) If I know it’s something that has to be done, I do it. But first I have to wrap my head around the whole notion of quitting (or starting) whatever it is I plan to do, and normally the calendar doesn’t dictate that.
Which is why I find it ironic that I’m doing one of the most cliched of New Year’s resolutions.
