The Blackout
I remember when drinking used to be fun. Party all night, then get up and do it again. I could do that for months without interfering with my life. It doesn’t take that long these days.
I’ve been running with the wolves lately. Wound tight. Angry? More like hostile. My life is usually a happy place. Guess there has to be a dark for there to be light. It wouldn’t hurt to share a big jug of gin with my buddy Clairissa, would it?
We partook, and the next morning I hurt. Not the sprained knee as much as my head. Where was the bottle? Hmm… on the floor, with about half a swallow left. Yikes. No wonder. I kept it to a few beers the next day or two, thinking I could wean down gradually, but that never works.
I have to go dark.
Partying finished, I went to bed about 7 PM last night. About midnight, it started. My room is hot, with the fan on and window open. I can’t sleep, but can’t wake up. Every time I nod off, my chest feels like the first dip on a rollercoaster. Leg cramps happen, from lack of potassium and all the water I’m chugging. Soon the sweats will kick in. And they do. I soaked a clean tee-shirt and shorts in about half an hour.
I turned off all the lights and appliances and wrapped up in a sleeping bag. How can I be so cold and sweat so much? I took ibuprofen. There’s potassium in megavitamins, so I took one of those. Another liter of water and I was in for the night.
I put a black towel over my eyes and faded to black. Scary images, nonsensical thoughts, (but not happy ones) and jarring awake at every little sound. It’s been fourteen hours. As I recall, normalcy returns around the eighteen-hour mark.
I got up and opened the curtains. The light (albeit overcast, cloudy light) was welcome. However, I need to detox a little more, so I’m going back into the dark…
