“So, you think I’m a funny guy, huh?”

May 3, 2007 at 12:01 pm (The Easy Chair, Waxing Nostalgic)

“Funny how? Funny strange? Funny ha-ha? Funny lookin’?”

D.) All of the above.

(Thank you, Goodfellas, for a pilfered opening.)

I’m a bit of a smartass, as you may have noticed. My work is a never-ending improv practice; customer torture is my specialty. If I can make them smile, they come back and contribute to my livelihood. (If not, they can take their grumpy ass elsewhere!) I can be serious, but that’s so, uh, serious.

Even though it’s Thursday, it’s my Friday, so let us not be serious today. At least not yet.

I love comedy. I love to laugh. I LOVE making others laugh. I do have a few rules. I don’t pick on those who can’t help their condition. (Although I will laugh hard at politically incorrect generalities.) It’s not teasing unless both of you laugh, and mean it. (Thank you, Ellen Degeneres, for defining teasing. She’s one of my heroes.) I’m not a fan of mean-spirited humor, but if it’s really funny, I’ll probably still laugh. Guess that would be the funny-strange part. And part of that arrested-development teenager living in my brain most days.

Other comedy heroes? Chris Rock jumps to the head of the pack. I had the pleasure of seeing him live a couple of years back, on the Never Scared tour. (Thanks, KUFO!) I had a blast. He made me laugh during a time there weren’t many laughs in my life, and he gave me plenty to think about in the process. I was sitting in the comped media section, and one of the funniest moments was watching a respected newswoman, sandwiched between her two on-air co-anchors, squirm as Mr Rock impersonated R Kelly giving a rim job. Brenda, you’re the coolest!

Perhaps my biggest thrill seeing live comedy was catching Sam Kinison at the Civic Auditorium, about a year before he died. He was pissing off a lot of feminists at the time, (among others) and we were filmed entering the Civic before the show. I went with my sister and bro-in-law, and we had stopped at the Lotus Room for about three large pitchers of draft beer. Obviously hammered, we marched past the protesters. I remember some words being thrown back and forth as we went in. The show was fantastic. I even learned from Sammy how to score liquor after hours in PDX. (It involves limos and about $500.) So sad he’s not with us any more. I haven’t been screamed at like that since.

I’d just started a new job, and went in to work the next day. The owner’s wife was there. Everyone feared her, because if she didn’t like you, you were shown the door quickly. I drag my hungover ass past the office door, and she calls me in. I’m trying not to breathe on her, (it was a very late night…) but she’s smiling. “I saw you on the news last night?”

“What? Are you sure?” I know I was drunk, but the news?

“Yes, You were going into some event, and you flipped off some lesbians. They showed it at least three times.”

Must have been those few words with the feminists. The bosses gave me a big grin and a “Carry on!”

Not last, and certainly not least, I must mention George Carlin. He’s coming to Portland in a couple of weeks, and I wish I could go. (Dang rent anyway.) I’ve loved his humor forever. He’s not afraid to piss people off by speaking his mind, and while I don’t always agree with him, I love listening to him explain his views. His comedy special, You Are All Diseased, is chilling. It was recorded a year of so before the 9/11 attacks, and he makes jokes about terrorism. Given the circumstances, it’s probably one of the more politically incorrect things you’ll see.

But he won my heart back the other night, on the anniversary of this blog. I found a recent special on HBO On Demand, and he discusses words he thinks are funny. The one word that almost made me blow cornflakes out my nose?


Thank you George! People will Google Dingleberry, (if you don’t know what a dingleberry is, I apologize for the image you are about to have forever etched into your brain-space) find my link, and I will get more readers! Woohoo!

Dingleberry: A sour, virtually inedible cousin to the huckleberry. Found on the east coast. I first heard the word used in the movie Pink Flamingos, and George is right. It’s a funny word.

There’s another definition as well.


Carry on…


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