Feasting off her corpse

June 1, 2007 at 9:09 am (That's not funny...)

I often wake up in the middle of the night, (morning for you guys) and watch a little TV, check e-mails, etc… This morning’s distraction is darker than usual.

Anna Nicole Smith’s former personal assistant was interviewed on AM Northwest. Seemed like a nice fellow. He’s making the rounds, paying the bills by sharing a peek into her life. I’ve always felt a little sorry for her.

Now more than ever.

The PA (I wasn’t awake enough to catch his name) told of how his duties would involve feeding stories to the tabloids, managing day-to-day activities, and fun stuff like laying in bed all day, watching Jerry Springer and Fear Factor. Sounds like quite the job.

He talked of her daughter, who is now without a family. According to him, Anna Nicole knew all along who the baby-daddy was, and helped give them both their day in the sun. She manipulated the media to keep the legend alive, and they were in on it.

What will happen to DannyLynn? Would growing up in that environment have turned her into the next celebutante? Or would she have done what lots of kids do: rebel and become the polar-opposite of dear old mom and dads? While I hope for the best, the cast of characters buzzing around Anna Nicole’s grave leaves me less than optimistic.

The most disturbing part to me? How these enablers allowed her to kill herself. The PA said she was averaging forty pills a day; a chemical cocktail of opiates, Soma, uppers, downers, sidewinders. Wash it down with a water glass of whiskey, and you’ve got better living through chemistry.

I know full well how easy it is to hide a drug habit. Even when those close to you know what you’re up to, they would freak if they knew how much/how often. If this guy knew she was scarfing forty pills on an average day, didn’t he have a moral obligation to at least say something to the ‘family doctor’?

More likely doctors plural. Any pill-head knows you can’t support a habit using just one doctor.

Had Anna Nicole outlived her usefulness? Would they have hurried things along by dosing her to death? (The inheritance from that 90 y/o is taking forever…) One of the alleged baby-daddies allegedly sold info to the tabloids- behind the scenes at the funeral. Hey, someone’s gotta pay the light bill…

Do I begrudge the PA his moment in the sun? Not at all. He seems like a nice young man, just doing as his boss told him. Would I mind being paid to lay in bed cuddling with Anna Nicole while watching Jerry? Of course not. Make up some shit to feed the Enquirer/Globe/Star? C’mon, you’re reading this- I’d be a natural. (Though Weekly World News is what I aspire to write for. Some day…)

Would I fetch her pills? Probably. Up to a point. As much as I support the right to bend ones reality to suit their mental state, when it takes repeated near-fatal doses to attain that comfortable buzz, I would feel obligated to speak up. First to Anna Nicole, because maybe she doesn’t realize what a fine line she’s walking. Drugs’ll do that to ya. Then to one of those douchebags who purportedly love her. Then one or two of the doctors signing the scripts. Remember what happened to Elvis’ doctor? Yes, it’s her life, and ultimately her responsibility, but some of these people who “loved her SO much” should have stepped up.

I don’t pray much, but I pray for you, DannyLynn. I hope you are raised by a nanny who won’t go score you coke, just because you can afford it. I hope your caregiver locks you in your room when you are a bratty little shit, and makes you do your homework. May the gods bless you with a normalcy not seen in your now-deceased family.

I’m sure we’ll be watching…

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