Revenge of the Cookie Monster

June 4, 2007 at 11:53 am (Cussed Dumbers)

I normally have Sundays off. It’s the only family day I have, and with some friends, it’s the only time I get to see them without time/work restraints. While it’s not something I would volunteer to do, when the boss “volunteered” me to work a Sunday, I figured WTF. Got to pay your dues sometime, so I went willingly. And I was in a good mood until I discovered this-

Someone broke my radio at work.

It’s not the first time.

I like having the tunes on when I’m working. I switch around, but it’s mostly hard rock or metal polluting the airwaves. There’s always a boom-box with a broken CD player laying around, and I have given many a second life by hauling them into work.

It started at the Nationally Recognized Chain, where I put two clock radios at each end of the counter, creating a bastard stereo sound. (Tool was in heavy rotation at the time, and that’s when I got hooked.) After a co-worker stole one of the radios, (“You didn’t need two, did you?”) I brought my own and threatened dismemberment upon anyone stupid enough to try taking it. It lasted until I moved on.

At my previous job, there was a nice radio already there. It lasted for about three years, until an electrician that had spent his lunch swilling pitchers at the strip joint down the road caused a power surge, frying its circuits. “Oops. My bad.” He said he’d replace it, but never did. Asshole.

My boss got even, by refusing to pay him until he did so. Last I heard, everyone’s still broke and quiet.

Through good fortune and a quick dialing finger, I won tickets to KUFO’s Rockfest. One of my cussed-dumbers, a skinhead carpenter with a love of Slipknot, was envious of my situation. Since standing in a dusty field in 100+ degree weather for nine hours, on a work day to boot, appealed to him more than I, I told him to bring me a decent portable CD player/radio, and the tickets were his.

He was back in an hour, with a boom-box, still packaged, but with a modified outlet plug. Hmm. Oh well, it’s still free…

It lasted until about six months ago, when Grinder McV threw it across the store. (“Oh shit! That was yours? I’ll replace it.”) Someone was playing a rap CD with the lyrics “Shit, motherfucker, fuckin’ shit…” (I thought they were exaggerating, then I heard the actual song.) Grinder lost it. He listens to classical, or NPR. He knows not of popular music. The rest of the crew at the time listened to hip-hop or rap, and had blown out one side of the speakers, so it was good timing, in a way.

The player Grinder got? He gave the graveyard guy $15, which got me a gadget resembling a Bose radio from 1987. It was nicotine-stained, and we had to clean roaches out of it, (not the good kind, either) but we got it spiffy and working.

Until this last weekend. Last night, after hearing Linkin Park-

“Whinin’ like a bitch, I begin to squeal…”

for the umpteenth time, I went to change the channel. Guess what? The channel changer knob is broken, leaving the radio dialed into KUFO for all eternity.

The circle of life? It was KUFO that got me the radio, so it’s only fitting the radio should spend its golden years grinding out Godsmack and Metallica songs. Fire up the chainsaws, and bring out the Cookie Monster-

“Coooooookieeeeeeee!!!” Slayer or Pantera anyone?

Speaking of grinding- that sound will be Grinder’s teeth when he tries to listen to KPBS in the morning… And I’m out of old radios.

Any bets on how long until I get a new one?

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