Which is clumsier?

September 16, 2007 at 3:12 pm (The Easy Chair)

Britney Spears or broccoli spears?

VMA viewers may have their opinion, but I beg to differ after what happened in North Portland last night…

ThatGirl and I hung out Saturday night. It was kid-free weekend for her, and I was up to typical mischief. After the usual Marty-like “I don’t know, where do you want to go?’ etc… she chose Pause, a new place on Interstate Avenue, right by the MAX tracks. Despite my trepidation at wearing a red tee-shirt into the ‘hood (“It isn’t the ‘hood any more, dear…”) I agreed.

Only two cases of stink-eye for the red tee, but I digress.

Pause was excellent. I had been craving old-fashioned American food. You know, meat and potatoes. Since ThatGirl has to be in a trashy mood to be hornswoggled into Hometown Buffet, and since Podnah’s, my default favorite, was too much like her previous night’s dinner, this would work. She had Sliders, and I had meatloaf.

Meatloaf with mashed potatoes and gravy. Tasty stuff, dense but not brick-like. And not as messy as Podnah’s. I bring a back-up shirt when having barbecue or Italian food, but since I doubted that would be happening, I stuck with the bright red tee.

Of course, the shoot of broccoli, the very first bite off my plate, slid off the fork and down the front of my shirt! Ack! Game over, right? Not so! The napkin saved the day. And then?

Second bite, same goddamned thing.

That’s when I made the Britney/broccoli relativity connection. ThatGirl thumped her forehead repeatedly. “Will I make it through a full evening of these awful puns?” she wondered aloud.

Their desserts sounded good, but I usually hold off and have that after getting home. (The genesis of my Ben & Jerry’s addiction.) As I hemmed and hawed, ThatGirl suggested Pix Patisserie.

“That way, you can say that for dinner you had Pause and Pix.”

“Sounds better that pox and piss!”

Her groan was a warning, and I caught the French fry in mid-air. Munch!

If she’d had the mashed potatoes, I’d have been ducking a catapulted spoonful.

Neither would have looked as clumsy as broccoli or Britney…

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