Mister Cleo?

October 9, 2007 at 12:25 pm (The Easy Chair)

I’ve been having premonitions lately.

For example, I was riding the bus yesterday. My mind wanders, subjects come and go. For no reason I can remember, I start thinking about condoms. Oh yeah, I have a couple in my pocket. Clairissa turned me on to some leftover party packs from Gay Pride week. There were lubes, gloves, condoms and even a pixie stick. (??)

What was the brand of condom again? Oh yeah, Durex.

Three blocks later, the bus pulls up to a stop. I look out the window, and see a Durex condom wrapper sitting amongst the rider flotsam and jetsam. Strange.

I get to work. Weird Steven, resident cinema snob and old friend, comes by for a visit. Instead of telling him about watching the series Weeds, which would make for awkward workplace conversation, I mention that there’s a new video in the mail, called Black Sheep. It’s about vampire sheep in New Zealand. Like Troma, with wool.

“Have you seen the New York Times today?” Weird Steven asks.

“No. Why?”

“Look at the headline!”

I don’t remember the exact headline, but it had the words Black Sheep in it. And it wasn’t referring to the movie.

There were other examples. Nothing profound, just a feeling something was gonna happen, right before it happens. Is life that predictable? Is life so routine that I can even see the weird stuff coming from a block away?

Let’s find out. I’m going to make a prediction, and shall we see if I’m right?( If so, you may be seeing me on late-night commercials, next to the Sleep Country USA Lady and the GGW chicks!)

Even though the pavement outside is bone-dry, I predict a major rainstorm will happen in the next twelve hours!

Unfortunately, so does Dave Salesky. Friggin’ weatherman, stealin’ my thunder…

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