The Rolling Fruit Basket

May 3, 2008 at 3:09 pm (The Easy Chair)

Portland east of 82nd is trash for the most part (greaseville)


Reply to: pers-666-151****@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-03, 8:59AM PDT

Outer east PDX is a very sleazy area. I do not go over there but do watch the news often and this area is always on for crime. What a sorry place to be. Thankfully I live in a nice neighborhood and not one filled with meth and coke dealers, prostitutes, thieves, welfare bums that don’t even try, drunks, people who are full of hate because they have no lives and so on…….

Above, as seen on Craigslist. While true in some pockets, one shouldn’t generalize so much. Allow me to explain:

I shop a lot at one of the Freddy’s in Felony Flats. Across from it there is a fruit stand. I coordinated a rendezvous with the brother-in-law to score a ride after picking up the weeky stash of dinner and work lunch. First stop was the fruit stand.

I love this place. I bring lunch from home, which consists of an apple, a tangelo, a banana and a small stash of nuts, usually almonds. I refer to it as the rolling fruit basket. I will hide in the office to consume it, or just nibble at the counter.

I hustled, scoring a hefty supply of fruits and veggies for $5.74. Five Pink Lady apples, ten small exploding-with-juiciness tangelos, a red pepper and a huge sweet onion. (Oh, and two potatoes. Since I’m working Sunday this week, breakfast will be for dinner.) If purchased at Fred’s, it would have cost $20.

I tossed the bag into the Fred’s shopping cart and hurried about my business. Grocery grab complete, I hit the exit just in time to see the bro-in-law pulling up. I grabbed my bags and dashed for the car.

As I walked to the house, I realized something was missing. The bag of fruit. BIL saw the look on my face and insisted we return immediately.

A cursory look where I left the cart yielded no results. I joked that, with the characters hanging around, I hoped they ate the fruit and didn’t throw it at cars.

One last hope; customer service. I sheepishly asked the nice lady if she’d seen my mega-rolling fruit basket. “Is that it?” She pointed at the white bag.

“Yesss!” It was all there, my bright red pepper, the big-nippled tangelos. I thanked them profusely, and on the way out I bought bananas. (I’d forgotten them so would have had to come back anyway.)

“You actually eat that for lunch?” my BIL asked incredulously. He’s known me too long.

“Yup, every day.” I told him what I called it.

He had a funny look in his eye. He grabbed my head and kissed the top of it. “You big ol’ fatassed dummy. You are taking it seriously…” The second ride home was much less contentious.

So the next time you wanna talk shit about Felony Flats, remember there are a few nice, considerate honest folk out there. Thank you, whomever you are.

Of course, if had been the two-bite cupcakes, (which replace whiskey as this week’s Saturday night special) there would not have been a prayer.

But I wouldn’t have gone back for those.

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1 Comment

  1. citygrrrl said,

    Felony Flats seems to be improving a bit. I have several friends who have bought houses there in the last few years because it’s close-in and still somewhat affordable. Some of their neighbors are meth heads but those people will eventually leave, just like they’re doing in NoPo. Poor Gresham and Troutdale.

    I must find this fruit stand next time I’m in the neighborhood. It sounds great! Thanks for adding me to your blogroll too!

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