The Oddball Eyeball

March 1, 2010 at 1:51 pm (The Easy Chair)

I’m keeping an eye on you!

My room is a museum of the bizarre. (Or a classic case of arrested development.) Since I have no one to answer to but myself, I get carried away with the decorating. I have an oddball collection of toys and stuffed animals, mostly provided by the niece and nephew. If it’s weird, give it to Uncle. He’ll LOVE it!

Here’s a classic example. The shot glass was bought at Seaside in 1996, shortly before I was hospitalized for general drunkenness and apathy about life. I weighed over 500 pounds, was consuming a fifth of booze a day, chased with malt liquor and cigarettes. It was as close to death as I want to come. I stopped drinking, but I saved the shot glass. I assumed (correctly) that I’d eventually drink again, and it’s nice to surround one’s self with familiar friends. My shot glass was a close personal friend. After I quit drinking, I used it to measure milk for my macaroni and cheese.

Nowadays it has a different chore. My eyeopener is a mug of espresso/coffee and three ibuprofen tablets. I keep a few pills loose in the shot glass, and this fake eye keeps dust and dander off my drugs. Plus, if you smack the eyeball, it lights up in purty colors…

The kids are too old for happy meals, the source of many of my oddball toys. But I still cherish the ones I have.

They may outgrow their toys, but I probably never will.

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