Hubba Bubba

May 9, 2010 at 12:10 pm (Cussed Dumbers)

“Where have you been?”

It’s a question I’ve been fielding a lot lately. Two weeks off work was rejuvenating, both to my soul and to others interest in me. The guys don’t seem to care, but the girls… I have to keep my flirt meter on one; any higher and the cheese factor would be unbearable.

One gal that used to be a regular stopped by. “I haven’t seen you in ages!” As she prepared to leave, she reached over the counter and ran her fingers through my hair. “Your hair is so… pretty!” She blushed and ran out the door. I’d like to thank the martini gods for lowering her inhibitions.

The best visit happened just after I’d arrived and was readying to take over for Tilly the Hon. I looked up from adjusting the radio station to see a tall, tan lady with tattoos peeking out from under a baby tee.

“Phaedra!” I squealed.

“Hey baby…” Her big smile and adorable short bangs were the same; she was deeply tanned, presumably from no longer working night shift. “I’m applying for bartender at the little gay bar actross the street. You may be seeing a lot of me.”

“Woohoo! Just like old times. I’ll be stashing Spirits and green bananas in anticipation of your 9 PM visits. Oh, and pink lighters! I’m putting out an APB on them right now!”

Tilly’s ears perked. “Is this the mysterious ‘pink lighter’ lady? Christ, he had everyone in all stores picking through the lighters and transferring the pink ones here. He was on a mission…”

“You’re so sweet. I still have one or two from Christmas. You’ll be seeing me around…” Phaedra winked, blew a kiss and was off to parts unknown. What a great way to start the day.

Tilly the Hon was staring at me in a smirky sort of way.


“Nothing,” she laughed. “You’re such a flirt.”

“Hey, Phae used to bartend around the corner from the Mothership. I’d see her every night at 9 PM. She’s one of the few things I missed about working nights at the Mothership. Always a smile, even on the shittiest nights, and she rocks a Catholic schoolgirl outfit better than most girls half her age. Something about the way she pulls up her athletic socks to the lower thigh-”

“Okay, I get it.” Tilly shook her head and wandered off to clean something. “I’m starting to think you’re feeling a lot better.”

I think Tilly may be right.

1 Comment

  1. Chassless Apps said,

    Welcome back brutha!

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