Sticky Fingered Fudge Packer…

November 2, 2010 at 12:35 pm (Cussed Dumbers, Sweet sticky things)

A thief has struck. Someone get a rope!

A customer asked if I’d been given any Halloween candy? Alas, I had not, I told them. Dr T piped in, “You haven’t checked the cooler. Emmy left you something.”

Oh boy, oh joy! Treats from Emmy…

Emmy is a new hire, and has quickly become a workforce favorite. She immigrated from Germany about ten years ago, and recently moved to Portland via Toledo, Ohio. Agent Starling of Clean and Safe brought her by the store on a day the HIRING sign was up. When Master P heard she’d worked at the German equivalent of a Safeway, he fast-tracked her paperwork. Yes, she’s legal, proficient, reliable. And very, VERY pretty.

Emmy is a clean freak, which had a lot to do with Grinder campaigning to get her at his store. Any quiet moments are filled with a rag and a bottle of 409. She had a rugged start in Portland, stayed at a women’s shelter for a month to stockpile enough pay to get a small apartment. She’s now settled in, got a steady schedule and paycheck, and she’s been since showing her gratitude in small ways.

She stopped by Halloween night to say hello, and bragged about her fudge-making capabilities. I raised my hand like a good student, then went “Ooh ooh ooh…” and generally hinted to the extreme that I loves me some fudge. She got the hint.

“I will bring you some tomorrow. And some for Whitney and you too, Dr.” She’s always fair.

I’d since forgotten about it, until Dr T mentioned that it was there. “It’s in the cooler, behind the string cheese.”

“Did you hide it good? ‘Cause if Giggles sees it…” (Giggles trims the mold off old bagels and eats that. The fudge wouldn’t stand a chance.) “I get possessive when the girls bring me can-day…”

He assured me it was safe. We went on about our business, and as Dr T was ready to go, I decided to get my piece of fudge and remind him to take his. I went to the cooler, found the bag, and looked inside. There was the Dr’s, and Whitney’s. Where was mine? Oh, what’s this?

In the corner of the bag was a small piece, hastily wrapped and much smaller. Aww… She’d almost ran out, and given me the last of it. I’d bet there were teeth marks on the piece where she’d wrestled it away from the toupee-wearing security guard at the Mothership. It’s not the size of the gift, but the thought behind it. I would enjoy it slowly.

I went to the office and told Dr T, “I see who rates around here. You and Whitney got huge pieces with your name all purty on ’em, and I get a tiny afterthought. Oh you, and your position of power…”

Dr T rounded up his bag of goodies, went over to the cooler and retrieved his package. After a flurry of customers, I decided to indulge in my sweets early. I went to the cooler. Dr T had taken the whole bag!

(POUT!)

I whipped out my phone and texted Emmy. “Thanks for the fudge. I’m guessing it was very good, but may never know. Dr T took it all!”

My phone buzzed back. “I labeled them! It must so be good he dont share, ya?” (She even texts with a German accent.) “I will hide some for you at the Mothership. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind, BUT that doesn’t mean we can’t give him shit about it.”

“Heehee. I will be a very angry woman with him. Make him sweat!”

Between dominatrixes and POed German girls, Dr T is in for a busy week.

I received a late-night text from Dr T, gossip about a neighbor merchant banging his waitress. I confirmed, then as an afterthought, “How was the fudge?”

“Haven’t tried it yet. Didn’t you?”

“No. Ahem, SOMEONE took the WHOLE FUCKING BAG! Gonna find a rope and make a noose…”

A couple minutes later he replied, “Oh shit, sho ’nuff. Sorry about that.”

I wrote back, “It’s okay. You’ve got a ton more karmic brownie points than *some* people I know, so grudge time is minimal. You probably saved me a toe.”

“It was the least I could do.”

Tonight I have to invade the Mothership, sneak past the guard with the ill-fitting toupee and make off with the goodies. Also, rumor has it that Pan is giving evening lunches. We have a running “I’ll buy if you fly” deal going with Voodoo Doughnuts, and it’s my turn to walk. The weather is glorious, and since someone stole my fudge…

Thank you, Karma Gawds!

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1 Comment

  1. Brown_Eggs_And_Ham said,

    Brown shirt brown noser 8-P

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