A Steamin’ Heap of Sweet, Sweet Crow

November 3, 2010 at 12:35 pm (The Easy Chair)

“Where’s your white cane and dog, ya blind bastard ya?”

Dr T was on the porch, smoking a cigarette and giving me the evil eye.

Had I made a false accusation?

“It’s right over there under the coconut water, where I said it was.”

The fudge mystery was becoming clear. It was a lack of communication…

I went to the cooler, looked at the empty spot where it was yesterday. “No, one door to the right. You were so worried about Giggles making off with it, I hid it better. I thought you heard me.” Dr T was making goddamn sure I saw where it was this time. “Emmy’s been giving me shit all day, and Grinder even waved that hangman’s noose you left laying around here months ago. I’m innocent!”

“Innocent? I find that hard to believe. Man, if that frosts your doughnut, you’d probably best stay away from my blog…”

“WHAT? You dissin’ me there, too?”

I cast a sheepish look at the store floor. “Not really… I just called you a sticky-fingered fudge packer.” I ducked, knowing his proximity to the stapler. He remained calm, but his smirk spoke volumes.

“Well, goddammit, since we can’t have you candy-deprived, I brought Whitney’s and mine back. Go lose a goddamn toe!”

“You don’t want it?”

The angry facade vaporized, we laughed. “It’s very good, but very sweet.”

“Much like Emmy,” I said. He nodded.

“Well, I will take it home and use it in its intended fashion; late at night when sweet things seem to taste best.” I winked.

Shortly after, Weird Steven came in with a bag of Golden Harvest bread. Carb overload… At least I could pass that off as healthy.

Promptly at 7 PM, Pan walked in to relieve me for an hour. “Okay, I’m buyin’, you’re flyin’!”

Oh yeah, Voodoo Doughnut…

“I want two Memphis Mafias, and get one for yourself.” He handed me a $20.

I arrived just before a throng of twenty, and was back in fifteen minutes, a record. The kids at VD had outdone themselves; the fritters were HUGE.

Candy karma restored. I will walk an extra twenty miles this weekend. That oughta get close to the calorie offset…

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