One Badass Kitty

April 20, 2011 at 12:00 pm (The Easy Chair)

I had a dream this morning, in which I was rolling in a limo driven by a Jersey Shore-type, (think Andrew Dice Clay) and sitting in the back with me were Lisa Lampanelli and a hot redhead I didn’t know. Lisa asked the redhead if she ever snuck around on her boyfriend?

“Once in a while…” she confessed.

“What the fuck?…” This was coming from Andrew Dice Clay, our driver. Was he the redhead’s boyfriend?

I looked over his shoulder, to see why we were heading into a ditch. A MOOSE, a giant black two-story moose, was charging the car. We made contact, and slid into the ditch. Andrew Dice Clay instinctively got out of the car to check for damage, but was chased like a little girl back into the car. In seconds, a traffic worker in a bright green vest walked up and said, “Never check for damage when the moose is watching. He’ll eat your junk off!”

The phone rang. Damn. I kinda wanted to find out if Andrew Dice Clay lost his junk.

So, I’m awake, and after starting coffee I check the mail. Some cats bring birds or mice to their owners as a token of gratitude. Well, my cat Django must really like me…

Someone has cultivated a taste for horsemeat...

The day is getting off to a surreal start. Happy birthday to my sister, and happy 4/20 to you all…

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1 Comment

  1. SarahJessicaParker said,

    Now that’s putting the cat before the horse..
    SADdle soap anyone?
    */hides in barn

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