A Big-Screen Adventure

February 19, 2013 at 12:09 pm (My Soreballs Vacation)

After buying my new single bed, I whipped out the cell phone and called Meg. “Hey, I’m gonna be a while getting there. Imma gonna buy a TV.”


“Yep. Call you in a while.” I took a hit on my smokeless, crossed the street, mentally flipped off the Isuzu Liar, and hopped the bus to the Freddy’s near my house.

For some reason, I’ve always made big purchases at off-the-beaten-path places. Stereo equipment at Hawker’s Locker, a second-hand store that has something I’m looking for whenever I go there. Since Visa was buying my stuff, I wanted warranties, guarantees, etc… Fred Meyer, take me away!

The folks there gave me space to watch TV. I browsed along. I’d done enough homework (and more importantly, conferred with Art East on what would be best in my situation) to know I wanted 1080 HD, LED with HDMI and USB ports. Other than that, size would be the factor. I gotta squeeze it into my tiny little room.

Art’s advice was one I’d heard before: Watch the TV before you buy it. You can look at one on the wall at the store, buy the same TV and get it home to find the picture is too dark, etc… As I looked I found the perfect solution.

A 50-inch Toshiba, with the aforementioned specs. Display model only, last one. $599.

“Radio Cab? I need to haul a TV.”

The Freddy’s folks were more than helpful. The young man attached the stand to the bottom of the TV, which was missing the owner’s manual and box. (For $400 off, I could look up questions online.) The minivan-cab fit me and the TV in the middle seat, and the driver hauled it to my door. $7 fare and $13 tip. Twenty bucks for twenty blocks. I might have been able to walk it sans hernia, but would have gotten jumped if I’d tried. It IS Felony Flats, after all.

Hooking up to cable was a no-brainer. DVD? Hmm. No phono/RCA plugs for the stereo. The color-coding on the DVD player is all wrong. SHIT! I called Freddy’s, and they were as helpful as possible, but since I bought the last TV of that style, there was nothing for the clerk to reference. Good luck!

Turns out all this fancy new shit requires more fancy new shit. So back to Freddy’s, this time near Rain’s old place. A Samsung Blu-Ray player for $79. Might as well go whole hog.

And still I can’t get the fucking thing wired into my home stereo. Looks like I need one of them fancy new 5.1 Surround Sound gizmos. Sigh.

I will say this: Toshiba’s tech support is pathetic, and I don’t think I will buy more of their products in the future. Not because of the quality of the product, but because of the fucking idiots they have answering the phone who are there to harvest phone numbers, credit cards and other marketable info. Fuck you. Just answer my goddamn question. Please?

Grumbles aside, (shoulda heard me the first few days, I sounded like a drunk, methed out Walter Brennan bitching incessantly) I love the new TV. I have fallen in love with TV sports again. The background of Blazer games are hilarious, with kids flipping off the camera above the heads of the Two Mikes. I love how Stephanie Stricklen and Sophie Soong are lifesize (or bigger) on my wall. And porno? Good lord!

I’m still figuring out the Blu-Ray player. I have a bunch of techie stuff to do over the next couple weeks, going to try to get it all working.

Once I’m okay to lift something heavier than the remote, that is…


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