An Angel in My Midst

June 13, 2013 at 11:13 am (Cussed Dumbers, One Particular Angel)

Yellow RoseI got a text from Dr T a couple days ago. The conversation went something like this:

Dr T: “Our girl is getting interviewed by the boss today.”

Me: “No fuckin way. Updates PLEASE?”

Dr T: “You’ll be first to know.”

Me: “Picture happy dance! Can I train her? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?”

ME: “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?”

ME: “With sugar, whipped cream and a big fat cherry on top, PLEASE?”

Dr T: “No.”

Shit. Oh well.

A little while later I got a call at work from Master P. “I’m sending the new employee over to watch the videos. Will you let Uncle Cliffy know, and make sure she fills out her liquor test properly? Her name is Angel.”

“Yes sir!” I have never been happier to comply with boss’s orders. Because if you haven’t figured it out, I’ve got a thing for Angel

I watched the sidewalk, awaiting her approach. Pesky customers kept coming in and buying shit. Stop that, goddammit! I’m trying to be swayve and de-boner over here! I wondered what corny line would come dribbling from my mouth. I never really know, but the more nervous I am the stupider it comes out. Angel doesn’t make me nervous, but I get gooey every time I see her.

I texted “SQUEE!” to her. (We’ve been texting off and on since that one infamous date.) She didn’t respond, but the room lit up when she walked in.

With her boyfriend.

All my pre-packaged lines went into the garbage. (Recycle bin is more like it.) “Welcome aboard sailor, to the wackiest ship in the army.”

“Thank you, sir! May I have another?” By now we’d be post-grope, but the boyfriend…

Uncle Cliffy had gone to the bank, so I took Angel to the office to start the training videos. I opened the office and invited her inside. “Welcome to command central. The only thing you really need to know about this room is this.” I took her over to the hollowed-out spot in the back of the room where I’d rigged up a makeshift locker. “This is my stuff. If you want to go through it leave me a note so I don’t cut the hands off the wrong employee…”

Her eyes got wide, then she smiled. Oh, those freckles sprinkled across her cute nose. I continued, “Something else: This is heaven and hell for me. Heaven because I will be seeing you all the time, but now that you’re an employee I’m gonna have to behave myself. Shit, I’d make the news for half the stuff I’ve done to you around here.”

The grin on her face was priceless.

“So, I want a big ol’ hug, and consider yourself ‘forever-flirted’. Just know I’m there with a smartass remark and an appreciative leer… May I have one last hug?”

“Of course.” We both made sure the boyfriend was still out by the front door, then it was a squeeze for the ages.

“All right,” I said. “You watch the videos, I’ll check in on ya once in a while, and don’t leave the door open.” I went back to her boyfriend, and began professionalizing.

I know my co-workers are taking bets on how quickly I step in it. I don’t know if they expect drama, or me making a jackass out of myself, or just what. Well, I have a surprise for them.

Giving Angel a job where I work will allow us time to get to know each other with the pressure off. I’m always trying hard to impress her when I see her, because I average about fifteen minutes face-time a year with her. I will have time to ‘just be me’, we can just be us, without the game face on. Hell, we may irritate the fuck out of each other after a few minutes.

But I doubt it…

There’s something else. I KINDA HAVE A FULL PLATE RIGHT NOW. I am very close with several women, serious with all and committed to none. I’m not trying to be Warren Beatty here, but I have been like a kid in the candy store. The women in my life continue to be wonderful to me, and it’s made the last few years of my life the best.

Since Angel had to watch a training video, I guess I probably should as well. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Guess I could start by omitting the gender references…

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s03e06-sexual-harassment-panda

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