Happy Anniversary! See Ya…

August 26, 2013 at 1:07 am (Sweet sticky things, That's not funny...)

Yellow RoseThree years and two days. We spent the last week or so staying up all night, watching horror films and munching on chicken wings. I’d leave her to sleep while I went to work.

It has been an incredible summer. I’ve had a companion, a witness and co-conspirator, a sidekick, a lover. A vision of beauty that made me look above my class. We held hands on the walk home from the bus last night. Yes, we’ve been calling it home. She’s been calling it home. But this morning, she packed her bags and left.

As partings go, it wasn’t bad. It hurt to watch her empty her underwear and sock stash, leaving the box I’d doodled her nickname on. She took her shoe collection from under the bed. I gave her my lighter. It was lime green, a color that looks good on her. We hugged and exchanged a heartfelt “I love you”.

It’s time. We’ve made proficient use of my tiny living space. I never thought I’d be able to sleep on a single bed again, let alone share it with a full-grown woman. I will miss having her bodacious behind nestled into my lap, with her hip as my armrest as we sleep the sleep of a crashing three-day tweaker. She called it snoring; I called it music to my ears. If I could hear her rhythmic breathing and feel her pressed against me, I knew she was all right.

And now, I’m going to have to teach myself to love her a little less. To not think about where she’s sleeping at night, or with whom. I checked on her tonight, and kinda wish I hadn’t. I heard things I didn’t want to hear, but they were things I had to hear. PAY ATTENTION. LISTEN. Our time was there, and it has gone. I made as many concessions for her as I could, but now my family, and myself, must come first. There are bells I can’t unring, images I can’t unsee. I am open-minded and giving, but some things I just can’t share.

Some things I just can’t share.

Go, take care of yourself. Be well. Know you are loved.

And thank you for an awesome summer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: