A Decade of Decadence

March 1, 2014 at 11:11 am (Clairissa, Sweet sticky things)

“Hey buddy, my phone is turned off. Just got your email. I’m broke as a joke today. If you still need some hair love write me back please? I need ten bucks to turn my phone back on.”

A typical note from Rain? Nope.

It was Clairissa. It just so happened that I had the day off, and I had ten bucks. And then some…

“I will be there about 1 PM. Got to go to the bank.” I showered and scrubbed everything, and dashed out the door. I had an issue with my bank account, and had to get that squared away.

My mortgage payment was processed twice. I could afford one $900 payment, but not two. When my debit card was declined, I didn’t panic, but I wondered. This happened the day after I broke up with Rain, so the thought of evil DID cross my mond, but I knew she would have already taken me that way if she was gonna. It had to be clerical. And it was.

After a week with a negative balance, my account fluffed again, minus a $36 overdraft fee. They are usually cool about rescinding these, so I asked nicely.

“I can’t help you here, but Chad, our nice service rep, might be able to help.”

Chad reviewed my case, said, “Since it’s not our fault, there’s nothing I can do.”

“I don’t suppose (insert other asshole bank’s name here) will reimburse me?”

“Probably not.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

As I walked out the door, I slammed my umbrella hard into the floor. I hope they all jumped. I didn’t look, didn’t care. I was PISSED.

So I took to social media, and bitched on Twitter. A lovely lady named Sadie picked right up on my angst, and contacted me through DM. I would call her after my haircut.

I arrived at Clairissa’s at ten minutes to two. “Did you get my email? I asked you to come at two so I could finish a couple things.”

Perkies“Nope, just fate,” I said. I got a hug and a kiss. I laid out about four times the usual haircut money. “This will get you going again. Free haircuts if I need?”

“Oh baby, I don’t need all that. I just need my phone turned on. The hair people will come…”

“I’m cool with it.” I put it out of sight. End of discussion, woman!

She messed with my hair a little bit. “You’re not really due for a haircut, I’ll take some of the raggedies away.” She trimmed my neck hair, added it to the jar.

“I had more, but it looked like I was wearing a squirrel stole. But I saved you my eyebrows…”

“Ooh, let’s see.” She had stripped down to panties (boy’s Underoos, actually) and a sports bra. I leaned back in her barber chair, she crawled onto my lap facing me, and began the ritual of plucking my wayward eyebrows (aka forehead pubes) with her teeth. I marveled at how we fit so nicely together on the chair that way. Her hot little mouth working it, finding that one tiny hair, latching on, then the tiny sting as she bites it out of my head. It is the most awesome, erotic feeling I can describe. Well, that’s not true, but it is pretty hot.

After the hair was done, we dusted off. I stretched out on the bed. “When was the last time you had a massage?” she asked.

“Meg gave me a back rub two or three years ago,” I said. Rain didn’t do things like that, and I have been the monogamous sort, so I haven’t been getting much of anything lately.

“Get comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

I stretched out, stripped and prone. She squirted lotions, applied pressure, greased me up like a pig and made me squeal. After a while I heard her say, “I don’t think I’ll be bringing the family of three here tonight. We need to wind this up.”

Okay. ‘What time is it?”

She told me. I’d guessed we’d been rolling around, talking and cuddling and such, for about fifteen minutes.

It had been almost three hours.

I dressed, we shared a laugh or twenty. It was a celebration of ten years friendship, that started when I went to a barber chain for a buzz cut and ended up with a three-hour ten-dollar makeover. I have followed her all over town, and will let no one else near my hair when she’s in my universe.

I’m still finding lube in odd places, my back and neck feel revitalized, and the big smile on my face says the rest. I am blessed to have such a beautiful, loving friend, and I hope I can always be there for you. I know you will be for me.

As I left, she reminded me to grow the beard out for my next haircut. “Tickle me with your Santa beard!” she shouted as I walked up the street.

“Ho ho ho…”

My phone rang, it was Sadie from the bank. She asked me a bunch of questions, and politely rescinded the service charge on my bank account. Woohoo!

And now, we move on. Rain is mostly out of the picture. Her luggage is still by the door, two months later. She’s supposed to be coming for it in a couple days.

Angel is busy with work, and going through the same personal hell I just escaped. Or else she’s had a change of heart, (or a dose of reality) and is trying to let me down easy, but I haven’t heard much from her. Everyone is preaching patience. I have to learn that, and to listen.

But I have Clairissa, and as I listen to the Slipknot songs that remind me of her I stare out the window and thank the deities above and below for my beautiful friend.

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