Kicking Upstairs

November 3, 2015 at 6:17 pm (Cussed Dumbers)

There are a lot of new people at work. Last weekend I told people I wasn’t memorizing any new names until Monday. I saved three spaces in my lump of cranial Swiss cheese. One quit, one gave notice,  and one has diarrhea.

One of the newbies has promise. He’s the former fiancé of another new hire, and more on the ball than usual. Yesterday he was called to work just as he arrived home from work. He did an about-face and worked until midnight. Then came back for day shift.

Lord Diarrhea called in again. Southie was running the operation, as Master P and Grinder were taking long weekends. After exhausting his options, he called the new guy and left a message: “Can you work three more hours?”

There was no answer. I told  Southie, “The last thing I said was: “Don’t answer the phone. ”

“You asshole!”

Oh well. After fifteen -hour days a kid needs a nap. He was smart enough to let the call go to voicemail.

A few minutes later, after Southie had called or texted everyone possible, an alternative had been found. It cost Southie an extra twenty bucks cash, but the shift was covered. I texted Festus, who was in the cashier protection program. (Day off.) “You can come out now, it’s been taken care of. ”

Southie retreated to the office, and I patted myself on the back for resisting a more managerial position. It can be lonely at the top.

A few minutes later, as I was texting Festus the gossip, I noticed a blur in my line of vision. What’s this, a Big Mac?

Nope. When the new kid was finishing his long-ass day, I had shared a fair portion of my cinnamon roll with him. It was a free one that Weird Steven had dropped off. “Free is a very good price! ” as Tom Peterson used to say.  The new kid agreed, and I told him of some of our roadkill victories, and especially where he could a good deal on cinnamon rolls. I thought no more about it until I saw the flash.

Buns up!

Buns up!

That’s no Big Mac, though it probably has as many calories. What that is, is a $4 cinnamon roll that costs $2.50 after 3 PM. I share this only because if I don’t stop eating them I will once again weigh 528 pounds.

And now the night is in transition. It’s already dark, and the wine thieves are wandering like zombies.

I don’t care. Anything to keep my mind off that cinnamon roll. .

1 Comment

  1. Fartist said,

    Barrel out the rolls!
    We’ll have a barrel of rolls!

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