Dusty’s Trail

June 15, 2016 at 6:36 pm (Cosmic Encounters, Drunk and disorderly, Waxing Nostalgic)

Hell of a deal...

Hell of a deal…

Dr T and Jem were seated at the picnic tables outside the bar next to the Nightclub Store. Jem had just partaken of her first margarita, and wasn’t enjoying it very much. I’d been standing there for about five minutes, shooting the breeze. It was my lunch hour, and I had a couple minutes to kill.

The bar’s doorman came up to me. He was about 25, a redhead with dreadlocks. I gave him a neighborly nod, but he was all business. “Sir, you can’t loiter here. You can either leave or buy a drink.” He about-faced and returned to his post, leaving me to decide.

“Ain’t that about a bitch,” said Dr T.

“Apropos, considering our discussion.”

We had just been hoisting a cerebral toast to the fifth anniversary of my sobriety. Leave it to me to get kicked out of a bar without even drinking a drop…

I’ve been doing good. Not perfect, but okay. I marvel that it’s been five years since I’ve had a beer. I may not have remembered if not for an old Facebook post, talking about me losing two teeth. (I actually lost four during that binge; those were the two that I had professionally removed.) I remember the wide-eyed look on the kid’s face at the neighborhood store as I grabbed a six-pack of Olde English 800. When I saw my reflection in the security mirror, with the blood-rimmed mouth forming an evil clown smile, I understood why he didn’t care how intoxicated I was, he just wanted me gone. I wouldn’t have fucked with me either.

These days I don’t miss it. Sure, I’ve been thinking about it lately, but only because of the milestone, not because of cravings. There are times I wish I could do it and get away with it, but I know that can never happen again. And I have grown okay with that.

I do have my fun with other things. I smoke the best weed around. I have had enough medicine to keep comfortable without issues. I miss being in a full-time relationship, but it’s been good for me. It’s not like Rain and I are avoiding each other. More like we’re just drifting apart. Will we drift back together? Probably, we always do.

Lately I’ve been focusing on being grateful for what I have. I have a great family at my house. My sister has been doing much better since changing careers. Rain said, “You can see the glow from within on her. She’s happier, you can tell.” Bro-in-law is due for hernia surgery. I’d worry about him, but it’s the same thing I just had, and it’s the adult equivalent of having your tonsils out. So I expect to be giving him lots of grief.

Normally a full day off, with revelee not until 3 PM Friday? I’d already be half a bottle of whiskey down. Instead, I’m smoking a joint of Buzzin Cousin, sipping a Henry Weinhard’s Black Cherry Cream Soda, and in a little while I’m gonna hunt down and kill a pint of ice cream.

Here’s mud in your eye for another five years.

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