House of Cards

June 21, 2016 at 10:10 am (Cussed Dumbers, That's not funny...)

Everything is falling apart at once.

Everything broken

The other day in the shower as I combed my hair, the comb snapped. I went to trim my beard, the guard on the trimmer busted into pieces. I’m afraid to masturbate! (<– Hat tip to Rodney Dangerfield.)

I wish this were the extent of my turmoil, but afraid that isn't so.

I’ve had Oregon Health Plan since the government insisted we all have health insurance. I had been going to Providence, who provide services to the indigent, and they provided THOUSANDS of dollars of health care free of charge. But if I got on the health plan, they could get their cut. I qualified, woohoo! I got new teeth, a C-Pap machine, plus the comfort of being able to go to the hospital I’d been using since 1996. And they got paid.

Fast forward to a few days ago, when I get a letter in the mail, stating that I no longer qualify for the Oregon Health Plan. I don’t understand. I am working the same amount of hours, my only raises are when minimum wage goes up. My only answer is they have lowered the income threshold. Well, aren’t I fucked?

I have hopes. After eleven years of part-time employment, I am going to ask the boss for full time, with benefits. Benefits? Health insurance that costs $60 a month instead of $350 a month. Vacations! Vacations? The only vacations I’ve taken are when I go to the hospital, which is paid for by the Health Plan. Shit. So maybe, a paid vacation once in a while. (But of course, I’ll save it until the last minute, in case I get sick…)

As I reflected this morning, our family has done pretty well, scraping along by the skin of our teeth. After fifteen years, we are still together, and all of us are in better shape than when we moved in. I wish our finances weren’t so precariously balanced. My bro-in-law is 60-something now, and just had hernia surgery. (Yay health plan.) I would be worried, but I just went through the same thing, and now I’m one-hundred pounds lighter and in arguably the best shape of my life. My sister’s new job is going gangbusters. The staff love her, and when I work the Waterfront Store I can keep an eye on her, and walk her to the bus when I have a co-worker.

What will I do, in the meantime? I’ve ordered as many spare parts as Providence will send me, and I’m trying to remember anything else I need before the end of the month.

I have ten days of good health left.


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