The Eagle Has Diarrhea

July 12, 2016 at 3:57 pm (On the road again...)

I love my smartphone. It was a tough sell. I can be a bit of a Luddite until technology proves itself to me. But once the hook is in, ya got me.

I particularly love how I can blog from my phone. Catch all those important thoughts. Because I can doesn’t mean I do, but I love having the option.

Mostly I use the phone for transit-tracking and text-message flirtation. (Or the occasional dope deal. 😆) Recently I reactivated an old eBay-related account, and now I get notifications when there is activity. I’m not sure if I am reassured or unnerved.

Since the Pokemon Go phenomenon started, I feel guilty walking down the street staring at my phone, thinking others will think I’m playing that stupid fucking game. Two fully-grown ladies went into the Mothership while Festus was working, madly searching for a Pokemon near the wine aisle. He figured they were just drunk.

photo by John McDonnell.

photo by John McDonnell.

On my way to an important date? I will flirt as I travel, which tends to annoy Rain. But if I have a bag of weed for Dizzy, like I did the other day, the updates couldn’t come often enough.

As the MAX pulled into Old Town, I alerted Dizzy. I began typing “the eagle has landed,” but when I looked at the auto-fill, it had projected “the eagle has” diarrhea.

I still laugh picturing it. Since the average bird shits every fifteen minutes anyway, would diarrhea constitute a steady stream?

As Dizzy replied, “How majestic.”

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