My Civic Doody

June 30, 2017 at 10:30 am (Cosmic Encounters, Cussed Dumbers)

Every two years, near Mizelle’s birthday, I get called for jury duty. It’s that time again.

I tried to get out of it in previous years, but they are tenacious. (“Okay, then when can you serve…?”) Jury duty fell on my days off, so might as well get it over with.

At the same time, Dizzy was leaving town, and needed a cat-sitter. Since Naomi and I get along famously, (and I get along with Dizzy okay) she asked if I would peek in on kitty, make sure she’s fed, didn’t poop in the sink, etc…

For my troubles? Use of a downtown loft…

When I visit Naomi, er Dizzy, I have a specific buzz. By the time I’m at the door so is Naomi, “Rowr, rowr, rowr.” Once I pass the cat-scan, (extend finger for sniffing, please!) she marches off indifferently, waiting for me to sit so she can perch on my shoulder and do the mind-meld. She drives her forehead into mine in a show of extreme affection.

Dizzy gave me full run of the place, but I didn’t even make it to the roof. Other than a couple trips to the bathroom, I kept my visits to sitting on the stairway, keeping Naomi from leaping after some bird from four stories up. I don’t care if cats always land on their feet, fourteen-year-old cat plus four stories plus gravity equals I got some ‘splainin’ to do. So no, kitty, don’t do that. Come over here…

I stashed my road-vest and switched to work-shirt. Nothing metal here. I scurried to the courthouse and fell into line. Within a few minutes I was getting dressed with everybody else in the foyer of the courthouse. Lawyers must invest in plastic belt buckles. How much time would they save? I’d go mad doing this repeatedly every day.

The first day of jury duty was slow. I was called once, then excused for grand jury. Back to the pool.

Lunchtime rolled around. I went to Dizzy’s, ate a cinnamon twist, scratched kitty’s ear. Smoked enough weed to make boredom nonexistent. Back to the courthouse, into the line, off with the belt. Is this why the young criminals have droopy drawers? Too lazy to keep doing the belt thing?

By the time I was excused on the first day it was 3:30 PM. A long day, but I’m on schedule to be done by this time tomorrow.

Many chores to do. I took a bus to Fairview to see Sunshine, who needed a bit of help with some stuff, then hurried back to do a couple more things. By 10 PM I was in bed, unable to sleep because it was too damn early. By 2 AM I was asleep, and at 5 AM the alarm was ringing. Sigh. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

The second day brought another trial. Two homeless guys, in their fifties, and one tried setting the other one’s sleeping bag on fire after an argument. Apparently his matches were wet, so the charge was Attempted Assault 2 and Arson 1. The defendant looked like an old silver parrot, and I couldn’t tell whether he was the defendant or the attorney at first. The lawyer was a young kid, and in a suit he could pass for an Occupier.

We had a fascinating discussion about homelessness, drug abuse and alcoholism, and in the end I wish I could have seen the story play out. But I would need two more days off, and I couldn’t afford that. This is our Xmas season. We make our fortune between now and July 5. (It’s also when I get the most overtime, so I sleep every chance I get. Long shifts equals long numbers on the paycheck.)

Finally excused from jury duty, I scratched kitty’s ears one more time before I hurried home to bed. Had to be up for city council.

Yes, that’s right. I appeared in front of city council, met the mayor and Amanda Fritz and waved at Nick Fish again. (He gave us a big thumbs-up as he rode past during the Starlight Parade.) I did my thing, made the bosses happy, even ran into Samoan Darryl from the Upscale Mall. (“Much better money. I hate that fuckin’ mall.”) I walked back to the store with my other testifyin’ co-workers for a minute before heading back to Kittytown. I had a long day ahead, still. I turned on the TV and stretched out on Dizzy’s couch. Naomi sat next to my head, purring. I slept for about two hours, it was glorious.

With the Blues Festival approaching, we received the largest grocery order ever. And guess who got to put it away? I started a half-hour early, and finished about 11:30 PM. Just in time to clean the store before closing. A long and productive day.

This week? I’m at 51 hours so far. And that’s if Giggles is on time. He was 20 minutes late the other night when he didn’t know I was working. I may set a personal paycheck record yet this week…

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