Martian Meringue

December 26, 2017 at 4:20 pm (Cosmic Encounters)

Pass The Butter

If you’ve seen Last Tango In Paris, you know that butter plays an important role in one scene. This is not that kind of butter. This butter, once a pastel yellow, ends up looking like a day-glo green cheesecake. It’s why I’ve been gaining weight, and why I’m happy as a clam most days.

This butter will take you places…

Harvest season was good to me. Thanks to Dizzy and Steel Rod, I’ve had a big pile of sweet leaf to play with. As I go, I refine my technique. My only problem? I’m running out of homegrown…

I was hoping to make it until early summer with what I’d scored when the outdoor season ended. I had nearly a pound of shake, leaf and buds. I picked the buds out, after discovering that they are better smoked than ate. (The edible high isn’t particularly enhanced whether it’s bud or leaf, so no point cooking the bud. Smoke that shit!) However, when I have as much as I want, I tend to go through it.

I have become a huge fan of Eggo waffles. A thick coating of the mean green lactate-extract-of-hooved-mammal, melted under the broiler and sprinkled liberally with cinnamon-sugar, is a five-hour buzz that will put me down for a nap if I don’t keep my brain busy.

I’ve been sleeping wonderfully.

I filled the saucepan with water, heating on medium until the bubbles start to rise. I then fill a quart Mason jar (or a used spaghetti sauce jar) with four or five cut-up cubes of unsalted butter, and put it into the saucepan, double-boiler style. As the cubes melt down, I sprinkle in an ounce or more of finely ground sweet leaf . Reduce heat after butter is melted; you don’t want the butter to boil or otherwise overheat. Stir every few minutes. I have a long metal knife with no handle that slices through, and makes a neat Scream-like sound effect when you scrape the blade along the bottle rim. Simmer and stir for two to three hours. I like going closer to three, it seems my best batches have come that way.

After 2-3 hours, I remove the jar from the saucepan and place onto the metal rack in the fridge. Now is a good time to chomp down on an Eggo waffle and the remaining butter from the previous batch. If I don’t sleep, I am highly amused until it’s time for phase two.

Saucepan of cold water on the stove at medium heat, like before. As the massive wedge of spinach-like matter softens, I stick the knife in and spin, encouraging the melting process. Soon I can halve it, the green liquid oozes up through and fills the cracks. After a bit it has melted down to liquid and green goop. I simmer it for another hour or so, then it’s separation time!

I use a tea strainer, a tablespoon, a sheet of aluminum foil, a cheesecloth and a Pyrex bowl to catch it all. After straining it through tea strainer and squeezed cheesecloth into the bowl, it’s back into the fridge until hardened again. Melted onto a pastry, it’s lovely.

Having the butter has been saving me a fortune. My pants are harder to button, but I’m enjoying it while I got it.

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