Sasquatch Approved!

March 23, 2017 at 10:40 am (Cosmic Encounters, Cussed Dumbers, Sweet sticky things)

Holy Cow

Aah, three-day weekend, how you taunt me. When I want you, I can never get you. When I want to immerse myself in work, you are there insisting. When I want to run off with a girl for a couple days? Oh, we can’t spare you…

I’m getting by, still getting used to being alone. This has been one of the easiest breakups ever, maybe because we’ve had so much practice? I am happy for Rain, and she seems happy. I’m supportive of her, and I’m glad someone is there to take care of her. Boy howdy.

But I also have to take care of myself. It would be easy to fall into over-medication, or have a few drinks. That’s not where I’m at. But I still wanted to cut loose. Is there anything left out there, weedwise, that will give me a buzz?

I found something while stocking up on vapor cartridges. I looked at the young budtender and asked, “I have gotten high off spaghetti sauce and chili, but beef jerky? Really?”

“Oh ho ho,” he chuckled wisely. “Look at the numbers, 150 mgs…”

“Seven dollars? I’ll take three.” If they sucked, I was out $20. If good? I have a new bestest friend.

There were eight pieces. They tasted like kippered beef, I had no idea how they got the drug on there, spray? Is this what my lungs look like? (I saw an ad for Motel Hell; human jerky has been on my mind…) I nibbled about a third, fifty milligrams. Repeated later on, it was a nice, even high. I hate having pepperoni breath, and bits of meat in my remaining teeth, but the slow-creeping buzz made up for these inconveniences. I saved a dose for work. Who knows, it may save someone’s life.

Life rolls on. I have been trying to pick up as many hours at work as possible. I chat with Dizzy. I helped Dr T pay his phone bill so I have someone to text randomly. (He was cool without a phone for a week, but apparently I wasn’t. He can catch up with me after payday.)

Festus has disappeared into the country. Maybe he quit paying his cell phone bill, I dunno. He’s quit talking to me.

The other residents of the burned-out hotel will visit, or text. One of the locals called me, all excited about some pills. When I looked up the numbers, it broke his heart. Those aren’t oxys, those are furosemide. AKA water pills. Talk about pissed!

Work has its share of drama. I’m just trying to keep my head low, be useful and productive. I was given yesterday off, freight day. I usually run a till and put stock away; it takes the whole shift but I have most done by lunch. My coworker, at 11 PM last night, was still knee-deep in cardboard, no idea how he was going to get it all done.

Well, I’m not going in early today. I figure I’ll get there about the time they get yesterday’s work done.

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Weedies! Breakfast of Champions

February 21, 2017 at 4:20 pm (Cosmic Encounters)

“Smile!”

After spending the morning doing grown-up stuff, errands, chores, I found myself in need of soda pop and cerebral amusements. While fetching the refreshments, I crossed paths with Sister.

She’s been a constant companion and best friend lately. She’s also been going through a rough time. Losing Sandy the dog and fretting about losing everything else has been weighing on her mind, and she’s been drinking a lot to ease the pain. I would be more upset if I didn’t understand so well. Blues as a lifestyle should only mean music.

I’ve been trying to distract her with Squibbs, but she one-upped me with a heavy duty medicated laffy taffy. I halved it, and have been enjoying my chores a little more. It kicked in, and I felt the urge to smoke a little something. So I took the half-joint of Chem Diesel to the kitchen. “Hey Sis, help me smoke this? It’s what was in that baggie you gave me the other night.”

She gets a lot of roadkill from the hotel, especially Mary Jane’s hand-me-downs. People either forget or don’t want to take their stash home, so they leave it for the maid. The maid (and her dope-fiend brother) thank you very much! This particular half-joint was originally two tight buds in an eighth-sized baggie. After a couple twists in the grinder, it was fluffy and ready to burn. We killed it off, and she pulled out another surprise.

“You can have the case, I just want one of the joints.”

The Real Deal

The Real Deal

She handed me a small flat container that looked like a Band-Aid tin, only thinner. Its sleek profile would fit nicely into an inside pocket. The strain was Green Crack, a personal favorite. I loves me a sativa-dominant hybrid, and these were gram-sized joints. We’re talking a full trip, with a third of a joint left over for when you wake up. Seattle’s finest.

The Chem Diesel seemed to do the trick. Instead of rushing out into the rain, I got preoccupied with bragging about all the first-class weed I been smoking, and now the rain is gone and the sun has come out. Oh, whoa is me!

So Sister and I are gonna take the train downtown. The new Rolling Stones album is waiting for me at the library, and she has a gift certificate for a local Mexican restaurant. We are thinking of getting taco salads to go. Seems like a good way to kill an afternoon.

Oh, look what time it is! So long, Green Crack. It was your time to go…

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Family Support Group

February 14, 2017 at 11:33 am (Cosmic Encounters, Sweet sticky things)

Baby Loves Me

Baby Loves Me

Tap tap tap. My Sister was knocking.

“Come in.”

She entered my room, pulling on a vapor pen. “I didn’t charge my pen yesterday. If you want to charge this up and take it to work with you…?”

“Sure! Thanks.” She handed me the pen, I took a pull. I felt a wave of warmth sweep over me. “Wow, I felt that!”

I have been experimenting with different strains of weed, and am always open to new ways to get stoned. The orange-tipped pen was different than most; it would not get you high, but you feel it in the body. Only 7% THC, but it packs a walloping 65% CBD. That’s the stuff that makes you not feel your feet.

We discussed aches and pains, the rain must be coming. It’s been sunny and gorgeous of late, but the weatherman says that’s about to change. So do my bones. I inherited red hair and a sense of humor, as well as rheumatoid arthritis. All three are making an appearance this morning.

It’s back to work day. Marcus Annoious has had a stroke, and no one has heard from or about him for several days. We hope he’s going to be okay, but I’m thinking if he was okay he would have called. It’s been several days. Godspeed, buddy.

On the upside, I will get at least three hours overtime this week. (More, if Giggles is his usual late self. Not bitching this week!) After two weeks of hours being cut, I am back to where I won’t sweat making the rent.

Time to make the doughnuts…

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Weekend Blues

February 13, 2017 at 12:32 pm (Cosmic Encounters, Cussed Dumbers)

"Here's Tom with the weather."

“Here’s Tom with the weather.”

“Sunny, with winds 20-30 MPH, temperatures in the 40s.”

It’s a beautiful day in Portland, Oregon. My health is good, attitude partly cloudy. Work has been its usual stress, nothing much to report. The Nightclub Store is quiet, with the hotel closed and the bar being remodeled after the fire. I’ve been doing weekends at the Nightclub Store, with two days at the Waterfront Store filling out the work week. Three-day weekends are great once in a while, but I’d rather be working.

I am getting some housework done.

I was going to spend some time writing today, but it’s so gorgeous outside that I MUST go for a walk. Blue Dream in a jar on the desk, calling… It’s a peppy high, tastes great. I will burn a bit of that, and ride with Sister to work.

She’s been doing better. Realizing it’s not getting better by getting drunk, she’s mellowed out. I stand by her regardless, but I’m letting her know I like her a lot better sober. It took me a long time to realize I’m a jackass when I’m drinking. The last time I drank was a few months after I’d met Rain. “Honey, you smoke all the weed you want, but I don’t like you when you drink.” Those words hung with me. I want my sister to know I will love her either way, but I think it shows that it’s more fun when she’s sober. She’s been seeing a lot of ugly behavior at my work. She finishes at 11 PM, then walks over to where I’m working, and we ride home together. During the hour or so in between, there are a lot of obnoxious drunks to keep happy. She’s getting an education.

Time to get out and smell the roses. And any other flowers that may present themselves…

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A Man of the Times

January 16, 2017 at 12:28 pm (Cosmic Encounters, Sweet sticky things)

Outie the CatI am just a cowboy in the psychedelic rodeo.

I remind myself each day how blessed I am. As the years tick off and the end approaches, I wonder if this is the last stop? Will I come back somewhere else in time, hopefully the future? I kinda doubt it; this sorta feels like a one-shot deal. But I dare to dream.

A lot has happened in the span of my lifetime. When I was a kid, if you had a phone it was attached to the kitchen wall, and everyone in the neighborhood knew your business. (It was called a party-line, and you had to wait your turn.) You could also listen in. Our neighbors were boring, but I pretended to be Gene Hackman tapping wires and spying on ne’er-do-wells. I’d record their conversations because I could. Now I have a phone I can watch TV on, make a movie on, play cards on… My dad would be blown away. He dated on horseback.

As technology advances, I try to keep a grounded view. I keep a couple acoustic guitars, a harmonica or twelve, and a set of bongos, because YouTube won’t have my favorite songs available if the lights go out. I think we have a manual typewriter in the shed; I should dig it out. But finding a ribbon for it? Note to self: Buy a few spiral notebooks to go with the dime-bag of ink pens Lucy bought me.

OTOH, I can tell you where my bus is with a couple taps of a button. I have 300 or so TV channels to choose from at home, and I could take those channels on the road with me, and watch them on my phone. Thing is, I catch myself chastising myself for staring at my phone when Mother Nature’s beauty presents itself to me. I should be staring out the window, gazing stupidly into space.

But I can do that when the battery on my phone dies.

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Will Everything Come Out Okay?

January 2, 2017 at 9:35 pm (Cosmic Encounters, Cussed Dumbers, Drunk and disorderly)

I’m not much for holiday songs, but this ditty came out during my teen years and I felt the urge to revisit. George wasn’t my favorite Beatle, but he was one of the top four. He also did an ode to constipation that I will put up at the end, if I can find it.

But that’s later. First we’ve got to get through New Year’s Eve.

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This Is My Brain On Drugs

November 18, 2016 at 1:01 pm (Cosmic Encounters)

When I get the combination just right, reality looks like this. Happy Fried Day, everybody!

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Caught Counting My Chickens

November 7, 2016 at 7:47 pm (Cosmic Encounters, That's not funny...)

big-leafIt’s been a long, miserable year. I’m sick of politics. I’ve seen far too many favorite people die. Laws have changed, some for the better, some not so much. It’s like the deck has been shuffled. I have the same amount of a stake, but the game has been changed.

Drugs in general have gotten harder to come by, and I’m trying to stay away from anything stronger than ibuprofen. I have my days, but I’ve been mostly good. But I *do* depend on my little green friend to get me through the day, and I don’t know what I would do without my medical card.

But there’s a chance I’m gonna find out…

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Down On The Farm

September 28, 2016 at 4:20 am (Cosmic Encounters)

Stinky Cheese

Stinky Cheese

My cousin and I have a medical grow operation. (It’s his, I just help every possible way.) For the past thirty years he’s had the best weed around, and I stick to that statement, even in this day of dispensaries on every corner. “It takes about a hundred grand,” is his statement to anyone who wants him to get them started. He doesn’t fuck around. He only does it right, and that ain’t cheap.

We’ve been doing business for years, and he trusts me implicitly, as I do him. So a chill ran down my spine and rested near my nutsack when I heard him say the words, “Randy wants to see the books…”

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Radar O’Riley

September 12, 2016 at 10:10 am (Cosmic Encounters, Cussed Dumbers)

radarThat’s O’Riley as in Baba O’Riley, not O’Reilly as in Bill ‘I want to scrub your back in the shower with a falafel‘ O’Reilly.

I have standards.

For those too young to get the reference, Radar was the string-pulling corporal on the TV show/movie M*A*S*H*. He could sweet-talk the colonel while hornswoggling Major Burns, all the while keeping his diva doctors happy. He could horse-trade three cans of k-rations for a drivable Jeep. Dude was a straight-up hustler.

Well folks, Radar ain’t the only one who can pull a miracle out of his ass…

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