Letting The Dust Settle
Hi, everybody! Miss me much?
It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Like the title of the post says, I’ve been letting the dust settle. Work has been hectic. Life has been good, but uncertain. (Just the way we like it.) Since discretion is warranted, this won’t be the tell-all gossipfest you’re used to. But I can make broad hints.
Like I don’t always drop hints when broads are around…
But What About The Rats? They Were There First…
This is the press release from Portland Police Bureau. Lownsdale Park and Chapman Square are a few blocks from where I work. Most of the Occupy Portland folk are familiar with our stores. We are “expensive” and “assholes”, because we won’t let them use the bathroom or cook slop in the microwave.
Maybe this is why?
News Release from: Portland Police Bureau
OCCUPY PORTLAND PUBLIC SAFETY UPDATES
Posted: October 25th, 2011 11:40 AMThe following series of events involving Occupy Portland occurred on Monday, October 24, 2011 and early morning Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Dayshift Report
7 a.m.: Central Precinct officers received a request from Occupy Portland to get in touch with Project Respond. The volunteers at Occupy Portland report they are getting overwhelmed with the amount of mental health issues presenting themselves at the camp and want to establish a liaison with Project Respond to help in dealing with these problems as they occur. Officer Miller of the Mobile Crisis Unit is the liaison.10:30 a.m.: East Precinct officers were leaving the Multnomah County Courthouse when a woman, 39-year-old Angela Hallinger, threw a paintbrush at the officers because they would not stop and look at her art. The paintbrush hit one of the officer’s pants and left paint on them. The subject then picked up the paintbrush and threw it again at them, just missing their heads. Officers were told that a Multnomah County Deputy District Attorney had reported that a woman was flashing her breasts at people. It was determined that it had been Hallinger, and she was arrested and booked in the Multnomah County Detention Center for Disorderly Conduct in the Second Degree and Criminal Mischief in the Third Degree.
During the same incident, officers found that the porta-potties on the south side of Chapman Square along Southwest Madison Street were overflowing and it appeared raw sewage was running down the sidewalk toward Southwest 3rd Avenue. The sanitary conditions were reported to the Parks Bureau who said they were aware of issue.
3 p.m.: Officers received a report that Hallinger was out of jail and flashing her breasts again at the camp. She was excluded from the parks.
Afternoon shift:
On Monday’s afternoon shift, there were multiple calls of various fights/disturbances. Officers said there appeared to be a different call every 45 minutes or so, called in by witnesses to these incidents. Several were unverified, with no complainants or suspects located. The following were reported incidents:6:35 p.m.: A very intoxicated/high subject was contacted at the corner of Southwest 3rd avenue and Main Street. It appeared that 25-year-old Dylan K. Hunter, was acting in a confusing manner and was on probation for Delivery of a Controlled Substance/ Methamphetamine. He was given a citation and transported to Hooper Detox.
6:45 p.m.: A sergeant took a phone call from a “donor” of two food boxes to Occupy and he wanted to complain that when they dropped off the food, he and his friend saw “buckets of human waste” sitting around the camp. This was very disturbing to the donor and his friend.
7:56 p.m.: Uniform officers responded to a call of a man causing a disturbance near the medical tent of “Camp A” (Lownsdale park). He was reportedly throwing things and knocking down fences. He was wandering around the Veterans Memorial, which is located in the center of the park.
Officers observed 35-year-old Devn Merner acting in a bizarre manner. He had red paint on his feet and torso. Occupy Portland peacekeepers were trying to talk to him while he displayed “fighting poses,” but he refused their contact. Officers requested Project Respond to assist with this contact.
Merner turned his attention to officers and advanced toward them. Merner began to circle the officers both rapidly and at a very close distance, and eventually stopped in front of one of the officers, grabbing the arm of the officer’s jacket. This placed the officer in a potentially dangerous situation, with a subject grabbing on his arm and within reach of being struck or his weapon grabbed. At this point, officers took custody of Merner and he was lodged at the Multnomah County Detention Center on Disorderly Conduct, Resisting Arrest and Harassment.
9:30 p.m.: Officers responded to a call regarding “5 subjects beating another subject,” in the center of Chapman Square, by the drinking fountain. Officers could not find any victim or suspect and overheard people say everyone “ran off.” Within a minute or two, district officers received another call of a fight at 3rd Avenue and Yamhill, similar to the one from the park. It appeared related, with the suspects chasing the victim through the blocks. As officers arrived, they were told by witnesses that the group was chasing the victim down Southwest 4th Avenue toward Burnside Street. It was reported as many as “15 street kids with skateboards” were chasing a shirtless subject.
A total of 3 separate calls from different locations were generated about this incident. The victim was reportedly hiding out in a camp on West Burnside, at 4th Avenue. The victim was ultimately located at Northwest 4th Avenue at Couch. The victim, 19-year-old male, said he was assaulted in Chapman Square by a group of street kids, after he had a verbal altercation about a dispute a friend of his had earlier in the day with the group.
The victim reported he was jumped from behind by a group of bandana-masked subjects, and repeatedly punched in the face and head. He said Occupy Portland peacekeepers came over to him suggested he “run away,” since they could do nothing to stop the assault. The victim reported he was chased to 4th Avenue and Burnside, where two of the masked subjects continued to assault him. He said others in the area assisted him, and the suspects ran off. The victim was injured in the face, and said he thought about calling the police, but decided not to, since the residents of Occupy Portland are supposed to take care of these matters themselves.
11:59 p.m: A known subject, walked into Central Precinct to report an “assault.” He reported someone had pointed a finger at him, and that was the assault. He made several alleged assault reports during this event. The subject returned 10 minutes later to report a “riot” at Occupy Portland. There was no riot in progress. The subject was told to leave, but initially refused. He was escorted from Central Precinct lobby, given an trespass order, and told if he returns again to make an erroneous report he may be arrested.
Nightshift
October 25, 2011, 4:56 a.m.: a resident of Occupy Portland called 911 to report a man inside the encampment who had punched someone and broken a bottle. Officers spoke with the victim of the punch and learned the suspect had fled after the incident. The victim did not require medical attention. Witnesses believe the suspect does not live in the encampment and was possibly intoxicated.###PPB###
The upside of all this? All the criminal types are in one spot, right outside the jail…
The Monkey and The Clown
Seeing an abandoned van in front of a toy store can inspire uneasy thoughts. When I saw this van by O’Bryant Square, my heart did a back-flip.
Long before Trunk Monkey, there was Extremo the Clown and his trusty pet. I’m not sure what the monkey’s name is, but he’s a frisky one. A long time ago, in a neighborhood not so far away, the Extremo-mobile passed Mizelle and I as we walked. She waved hi, and The Monkey popped up. He did one of two things monkeys are famous for doing in front of pretty girls, and it wasn’t flinging poo.
She was flattered.
So, of course, I had to say hello to The Monkey and The Clown. The Extremo-Van was parked in front of the new Finnegan’s Toy Store. The van door was open, but The Monkey and The Clown were nowhere to be seen. A nice man named Scott was painting Finnegan’s windows. “Hi, I was looking for The Monkey?”
“He’s taking a nap.”
I know better than to wake a napping Monkey, so I moved along. It was nice to see Extremo’s van in the neighborhood, and nice to see Finnegan’s Toys back open for business.
Indignity Village
America, fuck yeah.
Lord knows I love the free speech. The fact that I live in a country where I can spout my nonsense whether people want to hear it or not is something I hold dear.
Protesters, you’re starting to get on my nerves.
It was okay last week when I had to leave for work an hour early to avoid “disruption of the city.” You had to get their attention. From the swelling masses in Waterfront Park to the news choppers and satellite trucks, it’s obvious we knew you were there, and were serious.
During the protest, it took 45 minutes to get from SE 11th and Madison to the middle of the Hawthorne Bridge. By bus. I got off mid-span and walked. Sure, it was nice out and walking is good for you. But I really had to be somewhere, and simply completing my bus ride would have accomplished that.
I can see how you’d want to continue your momentum through the weekend. I mean, it’s the weekend! Nobody has to work until Monday, right? Let’s have a camp out/slumber party in the middle of downtown. It’ll be like waiting for the new Harry Potter movie, except with beer.
Come Monday, you are still there. Why? You don’t have a job? Well, how is the man keeping you down? You can’t be held down until you begin to rise. Get the fuck up and get to work. Sleeping downtown in the rain is not going to improve anyone’s situation, especially the two or three homeless people who managed to get away with sleeping in that park before y’all showed up.
Yes, I have selfish motives. I like catching the bus where it normally stops. I like cutting through that park after midnight, though it’s technically illegal. Police tend to ignore me, though it gives them probable cause to make contact. I’m guessing that consideration has flown out the window.
I passed through the Occupation twice yesterday. Once in the daylight, which is what you see on the news. Dudes in dreads blasting techno music, suits talking to advocates. It’d be nice to see the park so busy in a less confrontational situation.
Like the Portland Marathon. But that horse has been whipped to death.
How is it after midnight? The functional bus stop near the Occupation was crowded; everyone had to migrate there because no one knows where the fucking buses are going to end up. I walked passed the outskirts of the camp.
Though well past bedtime, the park was abuzz. Police officers monitored the crowd from the sidewalk, looking like they would rather be out fighting crime than babysitting hippies. The rain, with all the tarps and tents, is going to leave the park a sloppy mudhole. That’ll cost ya. Oh, and the cops getting the overtime? They love you, too. Someone’s getting a new boat for Xmas.
Of course, you won’t have to pay for any of that, because you don’t have a job, don’t pay taxes, and corporations suck.
I’m not all grumbles, though. I did find amusement as I walked past the encampment. In the relative quiet of the night, the sound that caught my ear?
Random belches, like human bullfrogs. (PBR is corporate as well, kiddies.) It was like the scene from Blazing Saddles.
Turning downtown into a squatter’s camp is not going to improve our lot in life. Go home, take a bath and give downtown back to the bums and the working poor.
As it is, you’re losing us.
Occupy Household: Fight the Dirt!
We clean the house every ten years, whether it needs it or not.
Saturday is laundry day. A typical Saturday involves me finishing laundry early and leaving for parts unknown until late in the day. The house is small and busy when everyone is home. But, since I know and love the people in the house, and pay good money for a place to live, might as well hang out with them and get my money’s worth, no?
I’ve been plotting this spring cleaning for a couple years now. It will take more than one Saturday morning to accomplish it all. While I wouldn’t call it baby-steps, I know me. If I expect results, I must approach the project realistically.
A Sea of Blue
Chalk one up for the good guys.
Cashiers are limited, by rule and reason, from doing much about brazen shoplifting. We try, but we’re walking uphill in the wind and rain. Once in a while, though, the stars line up just right and things work out.
I had one of those times.
I Call It Shrek’s Swamp
Ten years ago today I bought a house.
The paperwork had started a few weeks previous, during the week of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers. I had flown to Colorado Springs to spend a week with my uncle. While there, my sister called to tell me we had been approved for a loan. We were establishing roots, somewhere in the greater Portland area.
Southeast Portland was what we could afford. We looked at various houses, but when we came to the one with the sizable back yard and wall picture of a lake, (the very same mural that graced the wall of the house we grew up in)we knew we were home. Signing the ream of papers was the most grown-up thing I’d ever done.
We took possession of the house October 4, 2001. That very same day I saw Tool in concert for the first time. I was going to make that my last concert. I’d seen a bunch of bands in my lifetime, and the shine of going to concerts had worn off. Tool, however, was so good that I rethought my stance, and have continued to rock on for another decade.
Ten years ago today was a very good day.
Today I go to work. Tonight’s musical treat? Insane Clown Posse is playing at the Roseland. I will not be attending. You couldn’t PAY me to go to that show. But you can pay me to tolerate Juggalos and sell them Faygo, which is what I’ll be doing. Clowny daggers!
The house is doing fine, but needs a thorough cleaning and decluttering. Plans are in the works to use my bro-in-law’s vacation time to give the place an extreme douching. It’ll be like opening a time capsule.
Happy anniversary, homestead.
The High Road
After Thursday’s adventure in cerebral amusement, I couldn’t wait to try it again. Actually, I could. I had to work Friday, and wanted to see if there were any after-effects. Other than getting a really good night’s sleep? I couldn’t find any.
I was amazed at how well the edibles dulled the pain, without nausea or discomfort. Prescription pain pills have always messed with my stomach. I’d eat a couple before a concert, looking for a buzz as well as relief from leg pain caused by standing still for long periods. After an experiment or two, I’d figured out the approximate opiate pill vs pot-candy ratio: One piece of candy equals one hydrocodone 7.5. (You hop-heads know what I’m talkin’ about.) Eating three 7.5s would leave me with heartburn and indigestion. Eating three pieces of Hard Candy left me with a severe craving for bento.
Saturday rolled around, my last day off for a week. I had four pieces of candy left. Two small doses or one big dose. It was the first full day of autumn. I ate them all. Let’s look at some trees…
Dingleberry Gazette 